Can You Potty Train if Your Child Doesn’t (yet) Talk?
Potty training can feel like a daunting task for lots of families. There are so many different ways to potty train. And whether families choose to potty train young, wait until closer to three, do it all in one weekend, or spread it out… When you have a late talker, it can add to the feelings of overwhelm! We totally get it and have been there!
A lot of parents are left with the same question– “Do I need to wait to tackle potty training until my child can talk?”
Answer: No! You don’t have to wait until your child has words.
There are plenty of nonspeaking adults who successfully learned to use the bathroom at an early age. Transitioning out of diapers does not require words!
In this post, we are not focusing on an exact potty training method, but more on helping you with the communication component. Keep reading for tips on what to do before you start the potty training process with your late talker and what we recommend to try during the process.
This blog post will also provide communication tips to help kids of all abilities. Even if they're chatting a lot!
Before you start potty training:
We recommend that a couple weeks (or more) before you start the transition from diapers to underwear, you warm your little one up to the idea of potty training.
#1 model the vocabulary while they are still in diapers
You can do this during diaper changes or if they are around when you use the bathroom. Try saying things like:
“Oh your diaper is wet! You went pee!”
“I’m going to wipe your bottom.”
“Looks like you went poop. Let’s get you a dry diaper.”
“Mommy went potty in the toilet. Now I’m going to flush and wash my hands.”
“Will you hand me the toilet paper, please?”
Giving your child the words surrounding potty training will be really helpful for their understanding and eventually, they will use these same words to communicate they need to use the bathroom.
#2 Introduce a few simple signs related to potty training
We recommend trying signs for words like:
Potty:
To sign potty, make a fist and tuck your thumb up between your index and middle finger (this is also the sign for the letter t). Hold that position and shake your hand back and forth it a couple of times.
Wait:
To sign wait, bring both hands up in front of you, fingers slightly separated and palms facing towards you. Then wiggle your fingers.
All done:
To sign all done, hold your hands in front of you (palms facing towards you). Rotate your wrists, so your palms are facing down and away from you.
*You’ll want to say the spoken words at the same time you use these signs to help your child make the connection between the spoken word and the sign.
#3 Read books discussing this big transition
Prepping your little one ahead of time this way can be so helpful. When your toddler or preschooler can view a character in a book experiencing a new transition, it’s a little more distant for them and therefore, not as overwhelming. If you’re looking for some recommendations, you can find some of our favorite books for preparing to potty train here.
#4 USE SONGS
For toddlers and preschoolers, songs provide a “lightness” to a potentially overwhelming situation. Songs are also a great way to introduce the steps required for something new. It’s actually why we made sure to include a potty training storytime in our Songs+Stories membership (If you’re new to Wee Talkers, our Songs+Stories membership provides on-demand songs, rhymes, and storytime videos for toddlers and preschoolers).
We also like Daniel Tiger’s song about how you need to stop right away when you feel the need to use the bathroom. It will be stuck in your head forever, but you’ll still be so glad to know it! Promise!
This handwashing song is also a great one to add into your routine. It helps remind your little ones of the steps and also helps them wash their hands for long enough that they actually get clean (IYKYK).
#5 TRY PRETEND PLAY
Demonstrate the potty routine with a little potty and doll or stuffed toy. Talk through the process and let them play as well. This helps give them some control over the situation. Pretend play is one way children learn and process information.
While in the the process of potty training:
When you have a little one who isn’t able to tell you with words that they need to go potty, it can feel tricky! But we want you to know that there is SO much more to communication than the number of words your child can say. Pointing, leading you to what they want, showing you a picture, using gestures and facial expressions–all of these things are intentional and convey meaning! And we want you to leave this blog post today with a few ideas for how to help your child successfully potty train, despite their lack of verbal words.
#1 use sign language
Sometimes children who have speech delays are more successful with imitating motor movements. Signs are fine motor movements that have specific meanings. So we often use sign language to help late talkers communicate their wants and needs.
Signs to consider teaching:
-potty
-toilet
-wet
-dry
-poop
-pee
-wait
*You don’t need to teach all these signs right away. You could start with one or two and see how they pick it up before introducing more signs.
#2 Try Using pictures
Some kids who aren’t yet talking respond really well to saying what they want or need with pictures. This could be through an image you found on Google, printed out, and cut out, OR something higher-tech like a picture board on an iPad.
A few families we have worked with had success with using a picture of a toilet that they kept clipped on their little one’s belt loop or pinned on the bottom of their shirt, and when the child had to go, they would point to the picture as if to say “I need to use the toilet!”
Other families have used an app on an iPad with picture choices or a BIGmack button where the child pushes the button to say they need to use the bathroom. There are lots of ways to get creative and help our little ones be successful with potty training!
#3 sing songs and read books
Keep singing the songs and reading the books we mentioned above. We also recommend keeping the language you use around potty training pretty consistent. It will help your little one remember the steps needed to be successful.
#4 bonus TIP
An occupational therapist once told Katie that if a child is moving their body, it’s harder for them to have an accident. We don’t know if this true (HAH), but we always have our kids run, skip, or stomp when they need to wait like one more minute to get to the bathroom. It works most of the time! And maybe worth trying out in a pinch!
you’ve got this!
Potty training has often been talked about as “potty learning” these days, and for good reason! It's a skill that can take time. Be patient–you’ve got this!
XO, Carly+Katie
Carly and Katie are pediatric speech language therapists with over 25+ years of combined experience, but first and foremost, they’re parents–just like you. Between them, they have six kids and they all have unique and different needs.
If you’d like to follow along with your child’s communication development, download a free copy of our toddler language milestones checklist! It’ll give you insights into what skills your child has down, which ones are coming next, and how you can help them along.