How To Teach Your Toddler Feeling Words

Sometimes having a toddler feels like you’re on a roller coaster ride of emotions. We’ve all been there— watching and feeling helpless while our toddlers are in the throes of a full-on meltdown or take a sharp turn from dizzyingly happy to utterly heartbroken over the littlest things. 

We wish we could tell you that toddler meltdowns and mood swings could be fully avoided with a few simple tips, but that’s just not the case. What we can tell you is that if you start helping them label their feelings when they’re little, you’ll be taking the first steps in teaching them to deal with big feelings in other, better ways.

And since the first step in coping with big feelings is being able to name them, that’s where we’re starting today!

Start With Simple Feelings

As you start out teaching emotions to your toddler, you’ll be the one modeling how to name feelings. Keep this simple in the beginning, sticking to feelings like happy, sad, mad, scared, frustrated, and excited.

There are a few ways you can help your toddler learn these simpler feeling words, and we’ve listed them below. In these examples, it’s a lot of you doing the modeling, and that’s on purpose. This keeps things low-pressure for your child, who actually doesn't need to say anything back at all. They’re just hearing you as you model the skill you want them to eventually demonstrate, which is perfect. 

Pro Tip: We tend to talk about emotions when they’re BIG and LOUD! But try to also practice naming emotions outside of those times. Talk about emotions throughout the day, even while things are calm.

1. Name Your Own Emotions⁣

As you go through your day, simply label and describe your emotional experiences. Here are some examples:

“I’m really frustrated right now. I’m going to take some deep breaths to help my body feel calm.”⁣

⁣“I’m feeling so happy to see you!”

2. Talk About Emotions In Books

Another great way to teach emotions is to point them out and talk about the emotions you see your child’s favorite characters experiencing in books! ⁣Simply start noticing and pointing out how the characters may be feeling.

“Luna looks so excited to go to the park! She has a big smile and she’s jumping up and down.” 

You can really use any book you have at home for this— but there are also many books that focus more directly on toddler feelings that can be helpful.

3. Point Out TV Characters’ Emotions

As you are probably starting to see, emotions are everywhere! And your child’s favorite TV shows are no exception. Next time they’re watching a show, try to name and talk about the emotions the characters are experiencing, like this:

⁣“Daniel Tiger is feeling mad. He wanted that toy and Margaret took it away.” ⁣

Not sure what to watch? Daniel Tiger, Bluey, and The Stinky Dirty Show are great shows, full of jumping-off points for having these discussions.

Pro tip: You can learn a lot of great positive parenting skills by watching how the mom and dad tiger from Daniel Tiger handles tricky toddler situations.

Related: 10 Quality TV Shows For Young Children

4. Describe What Animals Might Be Feeling

⁣Talk to your child about the emotions that the animals you see might be feeling. This might sound odd to you, but seriously, try it! Kids are often very interested in animals, so it’s a perfect opportunity to incorporate some practice with naming emotions. We’ve found it so beneficial for our toddlers!

“That bird was surprised the dog ran up to him so quickly. I think he’s feeling scared and is flying away.”⁣⁣

5. Name and Reflect Their Feelings

Similar to tip #1, with this example, you’re just naming the feelings you can see your child experiencing throughout the day. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

“You’re feeling sad. I’m here for you. Sometimes I feel sad too.”⁣

“I wonder if you’re feeling frustrated that your coat won’t zip up? I’m happy to help when you’re ready.” 

Now that you know how to begin to model these words during your daily activities, we also recommend incorporating practices of mindfulness and self-regulation with your toddler. More on this below.

Coping With Big Feelings

Toddler feelings take up a lot of space! Littles and parents alike could use some extra self-care when they come up.

Practice Mindfulness and Self-Regulation Together

Even though mindfulness makes a big difference, we know it can also feel overwhelming— especially when we think about introducing daily meditation or hour-long yoga sessions. So my advice to you is this: keep it really simple! 

Try taking big deep breaths together and then saying, “Ahhh that helps my body feel so calm and relaxed.” If you practice this with your child, it’ll be much easier for them to turn to mindfulness during a tantrum or meltdown.

Go Easy On Yourself

If your toddler learning to cope with their big feelings is bringing up some big feelings for you, go easy on yourself.

Remember, it’s not your job to stop or change your toddlers' feelings. Our role as parents is to be the calm presence that allows them to feel their emotions and move through them in a safe and loving space. This isn’t always easy on us, though, which is why taking care of ourselves is so important. 

Get Help If You Need It

If your child needs more support, that’s okay. Toddlers all have different temperaments so while some can work through these things at home with their grownups, others will benefit from extra, professional support. Behavioral and family therapists are great resources. They can help guide your family even more.

If you’re in a “work on this at home” phase right now, check out our picks for emotion-focused books for toddlers in our bookshop.org shop, a platform that gives back to small, local bookstores!