Speech Delays & ADHD in Toddlers: Tangible Tips for Parents
Ever wondered if that sweet, funny, impulsive, enthusiastic child you’re raising is just living their best toddler life OR if they might have attention difficulties? Because if you have, you’re not alone! Many of the patterns and behaviors of ADHD are commonly displayed by toddlers—even those without ADHD—so it can be hard to know.
This post, shared by the experts behind The Childhood Collective, will help you understand ADHD in the early years, explain the link between speech and language delays and ADHD, and provide tips to support your child whether they go on to get an ADHD diagnosis or not.
We so hope it helps!
Evidence-Based Tips From Our Go-To Experts
This week on the Wee Talkers blog, we’re joined by Lori Long, Mallory Yee, and Katie Severson from The Childhood Collective. Both Lori and Mallory are child psychologists and hold PhDs, and Katie is a certified Speech-Language Pathologist (CCC-SLP) like us!
For more than a decade, they have provided evaluations and therapy to children and families with ADHD in private practice and school settings. Then, after seeing many families feeling overwhelmed after receiving their child’s diagnosis of ADHD, they decided to create The Childhood Collective! Their goals: empower parents by teaching science-backed strategies for raising happy and confident children with ADHD.
We’re so excited to have their expertise on our blog because we know they’re the perfect people for you to hear from on ADHD and speech delays. If you love this post, don’t forget to follow them on Instagram @thechildhoodcollective, too!
Lori Long (Ph.D.), Mallory Yee (Ph.D.), and Katie Stevenson (CCC-SLP) of The Childhood Collective
Does My Toddler Have ADHD?
With the energy, big feelings, and attention span characteristic of the preschool years, a thought that crosses many parents’ minds is, “Does my toddler/preschooler have ADHD?”
Toddlers and preschools are energetic, inquisitive, and impulsive by nature. On one hand, it’s thrilling to see! Your child is experiencing this whole new world with such excitement. Yet, it can also leave you completely exhausted and wondering when this stage will be over.
Maybe your child:
Moves constantly and sees everything as a jungle gym to be conquered;
Switches between activities quickly, before you even get a chance to join in;
Shows all the big feelings that seem to come out of left field;
Struggles to calm their body before they rest their head for the night.
Either way, we understand why you might be wondering about ADHD!
As children’s brains develop through early childhood (and up through their mid-20s!), most will “outgrow” many of these ADHD-like patterns and behaviors. But, not all children do!
Getting An ADHD Diagnosis
Because so many characteristics of ADHD are developmentally appropriate in the early years, ADHD is not typically diagnosed until 5 years of age or older (sometimes as early as 4 years).
Though ADHD is not typically diagnosed until school-age, recent research (Pauli-Pott & Becker, 2011; Riddle et al., 2013; Gurevitz et al., 2014) has focused on identifying early signs of ADHD to get these children and families support sooner rather than later—whether we’re officially calling it ADHD or not.
ADHD & Speech Or Language Delays
To the surprise of many parents and even professionals, ADHD and speech/language development often go hand-in-hand. Dr. Russell Barkley, a leader in the field of ADHD, has estimated that two-thirds of children with ADHD also have a speech or language disorder, with some studies estimating up to 90% co-occurrence!
Let’s pause quickly here! If your young child has a speech or language delay or disorder, we are NOT saying they will definitely go on to get a diagnosis of ADHD. Most children with speech or language differences do not also have ADHD.
A delay in speech or language is one of the earliest signs we have for kids that do go on to get a diagnosis of ADHD later in childhood. In this 2012 study, researchers found that two-thirds of the elementary-aged kids with ADHD had a speech or language delay at 18 months. That number is significantly higher than kids without ADHD!
How To Support Your Toddler or Preschooler with ADHD
If you suspect that your child may be showing signs of ADHD, it’s important to note that you can’t “fix” them or “prevent” ADHD. But what you can do is set them up with skills right now that will support them throughout their life!
Here are a few of our favorite tangible tips for parents:
#1 Use More Statements & Fewer Questions
An important skill for children with ADHD is what we call their “inner voice” because it helps them plan and problem-solve—just like it does for us, as adults! The inner voice is that voice in our heads that says, "Hmmm…I could have sworn I put my water bottle by the door. Where else have I been around the house recently? Maybe I should go upstairs and check my desk!”
How do you build up someone’s inner voice? You use and model statements, such as:
“I feel…”
“I wonder…”
“I see…”
…then wait and allow your child to respond. This eliminates a lot of questions and allows the child to generate their own “I…” statements.
#2 Play, Play, Play
Another great way to build skills is through playing with your child. Play is a wonderful tool for teaching self-regulation and social skills, as well as language! You don’t have to be fancy, either. If you aren’t confident in your play skills, Carly and Katie have tons of ideas on their social media.
Another bonus tip: Follow your child’s lead! They will let you know what they are interested in, and that is a great place to start.
#3 Model Your Own Calm
All young children can have BIG emotions! And if ADHD is part of the equation, this is even more true. As parents, it’s easy to get frustrated by your child’s tantrum or overwhelmed when they say “no!” so try to find strategies that work for you to stay calm. (Breathing, meditation, counting, and progressive muscle relaxation are some of our favorites!) By holding your own calm, you give your child space to work through their emotions. You can also problem-solve your feelings out loud!
Try this: “I’m really disappointed that it’s raining and we can’t go to the park. I’m going to think of two fun activities we can do instead.” This lets your child see that you have big feelings too, and gives them a wonderful example of how to handle frustration!
Related: Our Favorite Podcasts On Parenting & Mental Health
#4 Use Visuals To Support Routines
For all children—especially those with ADHD or suspected ADHD—routines are incredibly helpful! The downside? Sometimes you can feel like a broken record, repeating each step of the bedtime routine to your child over and over.
Instead, try this: Think about the routines you do every day (common ones are bedtime, morning, and clean up), and take a picture of each part of the routine.
For example, the bedtime routine might have pictures of a bathtub, a toothbrush, pajamas, and a bedtime story. Put these pictures into a visual schedule, and teach your child to “check the schedule” to see what comes next! This increases their independence and can be faded out over time.
#5 Become A Narrator
All young children live in the moment, but this is especially true for those with attention differences. What does this mean? It means that they aren’t planning what you will do in two hours, or tomorrow! Most of the time, they aren’t even thinking about the whole day. So when you say it’s time to leave the park, even if you already told them the plan, you get a meltdown.
Try this strategy: Talk with your child about what you’re going to do three times. (Yes, three times!)
Tell them before you do it. (“We are going to play at the park and then we are going to take the dog to the vet.”)
Narrate it while you do it. (“Now we are done playing at the park, we need to take the dog to the vet.”)
Describe it after you do it. (“We had so much fun at the park and taking our puppy to the vet!”)
This simple strategy will help your child organize their thoughts and learn to sequence the day.
Toddler Parenting Is Tricky! We Hope This Helps.
High fives to you for being here, reading about ways to support your child. Parenting toddlers is exciting, hilarious, challenging…and no matter how good or tough of a day it is, it’s sure to keep you on your toes! In case no one else notices, we want you to know we see you always doing what’s best for them.
And because we know your learning time is probably limited, we’ve got a short-cut to two resources we highly recommend checking out next:
The ADHD Parenting Guide
If you’re parenting a child with ADHD—or you suspect you might be—download The Childhood Collective’s ADHD Parenting Guide. It will give you tools to help your child listen, manage meltdowns, and more easily connect with you! We highly recommend it.
The Toddler Milestones Checklist
If you’re parenting any toddler—whether they have attention differences or not—download our Toddler Communication Milestones Checklist. It’ll help you understand the complex skills your child has already mastered (so impressive!) and which ones we’d expect them to conquer next.