What To Do When Your 18-Month-Old’s Not Talking, But Understands
If your 18-month-old’s not talking yet, but understands many of the things they hear, you’re not alone. This is a very common scenario that many parents ask for our support with. We want you to know that there are many little steps that add up to our kids learning to talk, and the fact that your toddler understands means they have a BIG one of those pieces in place already.
In this post, we’ll give you insight into what’s going on with your toddler’s speech and language development and how you can help them along. So you can get your toddler talking and communicating more!
Understanding Is A Good Sign!
We have been speech-language pathologists for a combined 20+ years, so we’ve seen a lot of children and their families! And when we assess a child’s speech and language skills and see that their understanding is strong, this is always a good sign.
When we think of language skills, we often think of talking alone. But that’s actually only half of the picture (maybe even less, considering some kids don’t talk but have so many other rich communication skills). Communication breaks down into “receptive” and “expressive” skills.
So by being able to comprehend the spoken language they hear, your child is demonstrating strong receptive language skills. It tells us that some of the foundational skills for learning to communicate more are already in place.
18-Month-Old Receptive & Expressive Language Milestones
We share with all parents that toddlers don’t just start talking one day out of the blue. We don’t always notice it happening, but their communication is actually building up slowly and steadily over time as they master smaller, foundational language-related skills. (These skills are subtle, but they’re very important. And they aren’t super obvious unless you’re looking for them!) And then eventually, one day, they’re speaking in sentences. As the parent of an 18-month-old that’s not talking but understands, it’s important to have a detailed understanding of these foundational skills.
The understanding piece (receptive language) is often overlooked, but it’s really important because toddlers simply won’t say any word before they understand what it means. Which is another reason why it’s great that your child has that piece down!
Here is what we typically expect to see at 18 months of age when it comes to both receptive skills (understanding) and expressive skills (talking):
18-Month-Old Receptive Language (Understanding) Milestones
These are some of the skills we’d expect toddlers to gain between one and two years of age:
Pointing to a few body parts when asked
Following simple commands and understanding simple questions
Things like "Roll the ball," "Kiss the baby," and "Where's your shoe?
Listening to and showing interest in simple stories, songs, and rhymes
Pointing to pictures in a book when named
18-Month-Old Expressive Language (Talking) Milestones
Having an average of 50 words
Note: The milestone (which you could think of as a “minimum”) is 10 words
Using gestures to communicate
Things like shaking their head for “no” or pointing to show what they want
Download Our Language Milestones Checklist
For a detailed list of communication milestones paired with extra resources to help you as you track and take the next steps, download a free copy of our Toddler Language Milestones checklist!
What Counts As A Word? Hint: More Than You Think!
Now that you know that speech therapists look for a range of about 10-50 words around 18 months of age, we bet you’re about to switch into tracking mode! To make sure you count everything on our list that we would, here are a few things to keep in mind:
The words don’t need to be pronounced perfectly to “count.”
Sign language counts! We actually strongly encourage parents to incorporate basic sign language if their toddler isn’t talking yet, and we teach this in both of our online courses.
Animal sounds count, too. So do environmental noises (vroom!) and exclamatory words (uh oh!), as long as they’re using it to label something or comment.
Anything else your child says intentionally, consistently, and in the right context counts. (This tells you it’s not just a happy accident or a random sound, but something they’re actually saying to communicate with you on purpose.)
Tip: It can be hard to keep track of all the words your child says in your mind. (There’s enough going on in there!) We like to keep a words list on our fridge or in the notes app on our phones. You can write out how your child says it and what the word is. For example:
“Ba” for ball
Signs more
“Bee bee” (honking sound) for car
Three Talking Tips to Try Today
#1 Introduce Basic Sign Language
Did you know that sign language is often easier for toddlers than saying words? Speech is a complex motor skill that takes time to develop. Sign language for toddlers consists of motor movements that are often easier for little ones to pick up on at first—especially if you pick a few simple signs like “more,” “all done,” and “mama.” If sign language is new to you, we also walk you through this in our TalkToddler course.
#2 Notice Communication Attempts
Some families we work with are really focused on their child saying words, and we totally get that! But even when verbal communication is the goal, we sometimes have to take a step back from focusing on words. Look for and celebrate other forms of non-verbal communication your child may be using with you, like gestures, eye gaze, and sounds. Celebrating these attempts shows your child that what they’re doing is important and that it’s working because it’s conveying a message to you. We want to keep communication a positive experience for them so they keep trying!
#3 Give Them The Words
It can be tempting to say, “What do you want?” or, “I don't understand” or, “Use your words!” when your toddler is grunting or whining. Instead, we want you to give them the words they would say if they could. For example, if your toddler is reaching for milk that’s just out of reach, you could say, “Milk! More milk please!” This is giving them the words. Model what they could say in that moment so they make that connection and build their understanding.
Be Proactive, Don’t Wait & See
We know that some well-meaning friends—or even pediatricians—might give you the advice to “give it time,” or “wait and see,” because your toddler might catch up on their own. And yes, sometimes toddlers do catch up on their own. The problem is, many toddlers don’t catch up without the proper support in place, and we have no way of knowing if your toddler will be someone who catches up or doesn’t.
And, because language skills develop at a very rapid rate, if you hold out and they don’t catch up on their own, they’ll be a lot further behind. By age 24 months, most toddlers are saying an average of 200-300 words, with the “minimum” milestone we look for being 50 words. So at 18 months, they might only have a 50-word gap, but even just 6 months later, that gap is way bigger! That’s why, if we could only share one message with you, it would be to be proactive.
Your Next Steps:
If your 18-month-old’s not talking, but understands, here’s what we recommend doing next:
Learn the language development milestones and figure out where your child is at.
Have your child’s hearing tested. Hearing loss can be more subtle than you might think, and we always want to rule this out first.
Work on talking skills at home. It’s so important to be proactive. The things you do at home make a huge difference.
Seek out a speech and language evaluation as soon as you feel concerned. You’ll be so glad to have the support if it’s needed.
Remember, You’re Doing A Great Job!
So many parents find us at a vulnerable time when they’re feeling worried or overwhelmed trying to figure out where to start. If that’s you right now, we want you to know that just by seeking out support and information, you’re doing a great job, and you’re an amazing parent or caregiver. We’ll do our best to keep things simple and straightforward for you. And we’ll keep sharing lots of ways you can start supporting your child from home!
